VICE


Hip-Hop Loyalist. Boarder. SneakerGeek. Rutgers University. 201 Resident and 718 Native. Photo in Beijing, China.

Wrapping it up: Fall 2011

The first thing that comes to mind is how thankful I am to be where I am right now. I’m thankful for all the people I’ve met this semester through classes, through dance, through everything I do. I’m glad to have gotten closer to some friends and met new ones. I hope to be in contact with all these people in the long run. I’m thankful to have met my roomie, Lauren, as we have so much in common, it’s ridiculous. I’m thankful for my biggie, Aileen, for being the most understanding with me. And I’m just happy to have gotten closer to someone I feel so comfortable and silly with :). It’s almost unreal how happy I can be with this someone sometimes. To those who have drifted apart, I guess things happen for a reason. Maybe it was for the better. Maybe we’ll meet up one day and things will fall together, but who knows? I do apologize on my behalf if you rarely see me though. All I do is study, so I do thank those who have been patient with me.

This has probably been one of the most toughest academic semesters so far. I found that often times, I tried to find new and constant sources of motivation. Thirsty Thursdays lost its “thirsty” as I soon came to forget that Thursdays were party nights. Weekends out were decreased to staying in and studying. Though some efforts did not pay off, unfortunately, my ambition remains unhindered. Again, I question myself whether or not I’m stubborn to continue down this path, or if I’m being strong. See, being a doctor is all I’ve ever known and it’s a serious DREAM of mine, and I’ve been reminded countless times to never, ever give up your dream, no matter the struggle. And, I intend on not giving up.

Dance. I still can’t believe I made a team and I always question why anyone would ever see any potential in my clumsy ass. Regardless, The Society has been one of my absolute greatest guides in this passion of mine, and even more so, a fam that never ceases to make me laugh. I always have my doubts about my skill in dance. I can’t quite tell if I’m getting better or not because I still feel stupid and I think I look retarded when I dance. I pick up things slow, I have some terrible balance, and I trip over my own feet. I feel like a mess most of the time and I get so discouraged. But what’s something that’s worth it without the struggle? I’m so impatient :(

Home. I miss it and I feel incredibly distant from my family. I’ve only been home twice this semester, only about a day or 2 per visit. I’m so thankful to have the most supporting and loving parents and an amazing sister, Erica. Though outward expression of affection is rarely shown, I know it’s there, and it’s something I want to work on.

My persistent struggle that I’ve noticed is how shy I am. I think it’s so ridiculous how shy and nervous I can get. I don’t understand why I can’t fully reach my confidence capacity. So many opportunities have been missed because I can’t muster up my courage to do things. It goes for dance too. I get so nervous haha it’s so stupid, but fhsdfgk! I also want to work on my persistence on ambition and seriously get shit done efficiently. I also need to fix this awful sleeping schedule. I find that waking up early can already accomplish so many things. I also want to be happier. All of these things require a great amount of effort and persistence, but I’m so damn willing to see them through. 

  1. saludicrous said: magashi!
  2. jennaleeee posted this